18. The spirit never sleeps

Journeys > 18. The spirit never sleeps

The spirit never sleeps and I am stirred to capture the reality of what’s washing over me in waves. At the moment, we are in limbo and we’re still yet to hear what everything really means.

Last week’s news about this being a chemo resistant tumour was arguably the most devastating so far. So why do I have a peace that transcends all understanding, a joy that continually puts a spring in my step and a hope that burns with excitement about what God will do?

Ever since that fateful meeting with the oncologist, my spirit has been invisibly lifted by a sense so strong - Chemotherapy has failed, and we will now get to see the wonder of what God can really do. Over the past three months I have followed the helpful advice offered by so many and meticulously followed the anti-cancer food regime recommended by much research. With eyes wide open, I’ll continue to use a trident approach of 1. the right modern-medicine, 2. a holistic approach to diet, exercise, natural remedies and lifestyle choices and 3. my faith in the source of it all – the power of God. There’s one other thing that I know for certain – my spirit simply knows we are still to see God’s mighty hand. This isn’t wishful thinking or some desperate crutch of hope. The prospect and wonder of what He may do brings an expectant excitement; it’s hard to describe. So there is no worry, no impatience and no need for all the answers right now. The freedom this brings is simply wonderful.

What makes such liberty possible? In one word, it’s relationship. People have often miss-understood this deep faith I have as religion, when in fact, it’s probably the counter opposite of that. For this isn’t some formulaic, indoctrinated set of rules that points me to some vague, impersonal God who is somewhere out there. It’s about a vibrant, living, personal connection with a God who is with me every second of every day. A God who is as real and tangible to me, as the person you may be sat next to right now.

I am so thankful that because He is with me, over the years I have come to recognise the very whispers of His breath and with it, over time, a knowing that supersedes all limitations of what my eyes and ears could ever otherwise understand. So when people, very kindly say they are inspired or amazed by the courage they see in me, always remember, it’s not me that conjures up any of it. It’s not me who is to be admired. It’s the God behind it all. The name above all names - The name above cancer, above pain, above confusion and above loss. It’s my Lord and my King. His name, is Jesus.

‘You may come to know [practically, through personal experience] the love of Christ which far surpasses [mere] knowledge [without experience], that you may be filled up [throughout your being] to all the fullness of God [so that you may have the richest experience of God’s presence in your lives, completely filled and flooded with God Himself.’

Ephesians 3:19 AMP