17. A different vantage point

Journeys > 17. A different vantage point

I remember when Jacob was smaller, how he would often stretch out his arms to be lifted high into Andy’s arms. With a dad who stands at 6 foot 4, he was soon surveying the world from a very different angle. As soon as he was carried this way, his whole demeanour would change, sitting comfortably and contently, surveying all around him with discerning, curious eyes. From this place, there was no insecurity and no struggle. Instead there was the ability to see things differently and clearly, and what this illuminated within him was a shift from frustration and fear to expectant fascination towards all he saw.

We now know this tumour is chemo resistant, yet I too, am experiencing the rest and magnetism of such a place of position. Spiritually, in the arms of my heavenly father, all I can see, feel and hear is that I too have been lifted – God wants to show me this from His perspective.

From this place, in my spirit, there is a compelling clarity of how huge God is. This isn’t just some larger being who can casually stride through the mountains like a giant in a playground. This is the God who made them. And just as He created them, He can level them too.

Sitting here in this elevated tower, surveying the mountain ranges below me, I am told to just look ahead (at the future and promises of His word) and not to look down (at this situation from the limitations of conventional worldly wisdom). From this vantage point, there’s a total cosmic shift in perspective, as I experience a tangible revelation into the size and awesome might of God’s power. As a pilot at 38,000 feet may do when looking down at the glory of the Himalaya’s below, this perspective takes my breath away.

Later today, we will find out the specific size and growth of the tumour. We should understand if I have the BRCA gene which can perpetuate the ongoing risk of cancer, in me and potentially in Jacob too. We’ll get a sense of whether this is a single or double mastectomy, the clinical chances of survival and the likely process to now be followed. But right now, I just don’t need to know the answer to those questions. I’m not thinking about what-if’s? or worrying about what the news will be. What’s the point? When the all-seeing, all-knowing, all-conquering will consume this cancer just by the omnipotence of who He is.  From this vantage point, in these arms, with this view, I am simply wondering which mountain God will march upon – which mountain He will destroy.

‘His lightnings light up the world; Earth, wide-eyed, trembles in fear. The mountains take one look at God, And melt, melt like wax before earth’s Lord. The heavens announce that he’ll set everything right, And everyone will see it happen—glorious!’

Psalm 97:4-6 MSG